Just read an article about a sniny new study about gay parenting, with a conclusion that probably shouldn’t be surprising, but still kinda was, at least to me: children of lesbian couples do better than than children of straight couples. The article makes the obvious point that women still do more housework, and still are raised to be nurturers, while men are actively discouraged from showing interest in, learning, and performing those skills. Hence, two mommies are better than one, because more people actually do the parenting. This is bad for the children. It is also bad for the fathers; I can’t imagine that all of them are callous assholes who don’t want to be good parents. Instead, they want to, but don’t have the skill; or feel they can’t express their feelings towards their children; or they don’t even know that they aren’t as nurturing and close to their kids as they could be.
What the article above misses though is not simply that women are still raised to be better nurturers. Modern women are taught to be both “mommy” and “daddy”: they will both teach you how to ride a bike, help you with sport practice, [insert other traditional daddy thing here], and kiss your knee better when you scrape it and cheer you up when the other kids are mean to you. Modern men OTOH are still subject to toxic masculinity which deprives them of the “mommy” skill set completely; and the more of the “daddy” skill-set women adopt, the more toxic masculinity will push men out of those as well. Men are thus deprived of what they should be entitled to just as much as women are: the lessons on how to be a well-rounded parent, and the right to not be ostracized or attacked for being a caring parent.
And on average their children would benefit, too, if their fathers were on average as well-rounded and well-trained at parenting as their mothers on average are.